Jasmine Sudarkasa and Fay Twersky: A lesson in race, leadership and sharing power
This conversation is part of a new series featuring Hewlett Foundation staff discussing race in our work and lives. It features Jasmine Sudarkasa, a program fellow in our Effective Philanthropy Group, and Fay Twersky, then-vice president of the Hewlett Foundation and director of the Effective Philanthropy Group, discussing the process and experience behind the anti-racism grants that the foundation announced last year. Watch video clips and read a transcript of the conversation below. The transcript has been edited for brevity and clarity.
That was the meeting at which the Board really talked about what was happening—all of the different crises that were unfolding, laying bare all the fault lines of our society. And they really encouraged us to be more bold in our work around race, in particular, but around other issues as well. And so I think the approval of these grants and the opportunity for the whole staff to do something was part of the Board’s shift in wanting to be more active in this space—and also realizing that this was a moment to really step up and deal with some of the racial injustice that we had never really dealt with head-on in the foundation.
Larry tasked Jasmine, [Evaluation Officer] Amy Arbreton, and me with the opportunity to design a participatory process involving all of our staff—a highly inclusive process of all of our staff, and he did that for a few different reasons. One, Amy and Jasmine had been working on an analysis of participatory grantmaking really trying to understand what goes into participatory work. And also because our whole staff was really, I would say, in some tumult about what was happening around the country and wanted to find some way to participate in responding as a foundation.
I remember feeling both honored by the opportunity and also felt like it was high stakes. It felt like new territory. I had confidence that as a little design team, we would figure it out. But I wasn’t sure exactly what it was going to look like until we started engaging in the conversations that went pretty deep.
Jasmine Sudarkasa: I feel like there were two efforts that were going on simultaneously—one on the outward-facing effort to respond and be thoughtful in doing so. But also responding internally to the needs of our staff—respond to the needs of Black staff. When I say the personal and professional converged, I mean that quite literally. You know, we’re working from home. I’m in my apartment in Oakland, all hell’s breaking loose outside, and I’m trying to meet this moment and stand with this sort of virtual community. It was just a real conflation—I felt like a lot of different needs. … [For the foundation] there was a real investment in doing this well from the inside out.
Fay Twersky: I just remember every conversation was really full of ideas and also feelings. There’s just a lot of currents of feelings going on, you know, in the foundation, in our team, in the world. So, acknowledging and taking time in every conversation to start with, “How are you feeling?” It was not just a “nice to have”—it was a “need to have.” And I think that that sort of helped us level-set and be open to the ideas.
Jasmine Sudarkasa: I went into this with lots of hope, not so much confidence. One of the things that was very important to me is that Fay and Larry said to me very early on, like, “We got your back.” I don’t know how to say this any other way than that. But so often, and I’ve had this experience before, as a Black voice, you are kind of allowed a leadership opportunity, but you also kind of have to feel the swift fall of the axe if you mess up. The only confidence I had was that if I mess this up, this was a decision that leadership made that they will stand behind, they will support me in, which was why I think we dreamt big. But I don’t know that I was confident … I was like, we’re just gonna see how this goes.
The task at hand [was terrifying]: figure out a way in three months that we can move this money in a way that is fair, that is not undoing the intended effects of the grants themselves by creating harm, and that is meaningfully representing our entire organization. And I take that seriously as a collection of a lot of different people, not just program staff. That felt enormous to me, but mostly from the position of, like, this is an opportunity to represent our community—and I don’t want to misrepresent anyone or anything.
Behind the grantmaking process
Fay Twersky: Well, I don’t know everything. I don’t want to overclaim. You know I never like overclaiming. I’m not a micromanager by nature, so it’s not like I learned how to not do that because I don’t like to micromanage. I like to support people doing the work. But in this instance, I think I learned some new ways of leading from behind. You really were leading out front and I was really leading from behind. I was really taking your lead and knowing how to help support it to make you successful in this environment. You were probably going to do that anyway, but I was able to follow you and say, well, what can I do to really support her leadership, because actually, Jasmine is better suited to lead this work than I am. And so, you know, what’s the role that I can play and I feel like I just learned some new intuitions about how to do that. And I think that what you did and the way that you did it led to better material results than if I did it. I’ve heard that phrase used many times to lead from behind, but I never really experienced that until now, like you were really leading out front. And it was better. It was better.
Jasmine Sudarkasa: Well can I say something to you though, Fay, honestly, this fellowship works the way it’s supposed to because I don’t think I could have done this any earlier in my time. The posture of a leader I learned from you. When I came in, I don’t want to call myself temperamental per se, but it was very easy to activate me emotionally, and I think that was getting in the way of my ability to relate to people and to lead people, especially people who were older than me. And it’s something that I, you know, in my work prior to this was never going to be checked on because everyone’s afraid to tell the Black girl that she’s being mean. But I feel like very early in our relationship that’s something that we really were able to work on in a way that was very much honoring of my experience. But also, like, “Get your shit together.” And that’s skillful, Fay.
So I just, you know, I think this was truly a peer effort in that I needed all of my work with EPG up to that moment to be able to lead Hewlett in the way that I could. I knew I had the instincts around the anti-racist work, but to do it at this scale, at this institution—there’s no way. So, I’m heartbroken that my Fay is leaving me, but the only reason why I’m all right is because this process showed me that I will be okay in your absence. So I just wanted to reflect that back to you. Because really, like so many of my instincts, especially around challenging power dynamics, or how to listen to people or make people feel heard, these are things that I learned long before we were doing this anti-racist work. I had the framework and experience to apply it. So right back out.
Fay Twersky: I want to say something about the grantee calls. Every part of this was sort of like a book. They’re different chapters, you know, but there was that piece … Jasmine, you were on all of the calls with the grantees and different people—council members, Amy and I—joined for others. I was probably on six of the calls with you, and I just loved them. I loved hearing the stories from the grantees. I loved hearing Jasmine tell the story of the work to each of them, and the reactions.
Jasmine Sudarkasa: Yeah, I think I’ll share about one in particular, which moved me just on an incredible level. Souls Grown Deep, which works in Gee’s Bend, Alabama, with Gee’s Bend’s quilters as well as the community. I got on a call with the President, a few of their grantmakers, and their board chair—and their board chair is a third-generation Gee’s Bend quilter.
This woman is old enough to be obviously my grandmother (without aging her—I am polite). And at the end of the call, the President asks, “Is there anything else that anyone wants to say?” and she just says, “Thank you so much. From all of us down here. I can’t, I can’t even begin to tell you what this means to us.” And I’m just, you know, I’m not even 30 years old yet. This woman has been protecting my culture for her entire life—and she’s thanking me. And I just say to her, “Thank you for protecting our culture.”
So this for me was like a love letter to my upbringing, my culture. And I feel like I was uniquely privileged and prepared to do it. So the grantees … I mean, every one of those calls was magical. And that’s why I have such gratitude to them because I think in that moment, also, you know, this has been such an alienating year. I haven’t been active in protests. I used to be a protest girl, but don’t do that anymore. And so I’ve been feeling very socially isolated as a movement person. And so those calls and just having our community around me was so rewarding in that moment.
…Fay, I think this is an incredible testament to your work at Hewlett, I think this is like the definition of good philanthropy because it feels good and it does good work. And I just feel very honored that I got to work on your last big project with you at the foundation. It means the world to me. And I hope that you can take some of my love with you. Such appreciation, really, I think this is definitely the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life. So I just have a lot of gratitude and it really speaks to the legacy of your work at Hewlett.
Fay Twersky: Thank you, Jasmine. I agree that it was really a magical experience. It really was. They always say: Leave when you’re on top. I can’t imagine a better project to conclude on and I’m definitely taking it with me.